I know God *can* heal me. Why won't he? I have prayed for healing often. Why must I go through this struggle in my life. I HAVE been taking my medication lately. But it's not helping so much! I've already upped my dosage. It's just not working like it did at first.
I just want to be a good person. A normal person. A good mom. A good wife. Kind. Happy. What, what, what is the purpose of this disease? Why must my family suffer? If I have to suffer, fine. But why must my beautiful, amazing, family suffer? Why can't I control myself with them? Believe me, I know what a blessing they are. I know how our family has been blessed. So why can't that be enought to make me happy?
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